D3 body, D1 cock
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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