i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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