I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
