Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
