she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just blew my weed a kiss
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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