she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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