i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
