Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
