A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
