i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
