i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
