i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
