alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
