well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize