"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
