it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
