gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
