Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize