People in love make me want to vomit
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
