apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
where does the pee come out of this thing
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
