Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
