Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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