WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it's like iHOP with fire
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
