She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
