I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Randomize
