Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
