But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
