We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
