Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
