i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
