Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You're like the curious george of whores
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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