So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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