I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
