if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
