Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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