I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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