Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
