Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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