I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
