I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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