STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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