i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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