Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YAS. BRING CRAB.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
