Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
