U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
