That's intense
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
