Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We are two peas in an std pod
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
