ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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