i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
