Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
