i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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