am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
