You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
