its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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