Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
