All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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