Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
