...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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