Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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