Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
