): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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