would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
